Failed Test

So I did the detox diet and continued to follow it in the days following. I did have a cupcake and 2 small cookies (from Whole Foods..not that that makes them better, but just a bit better for you). In the following 2 days I lost another 4.5lbs. I thought, wow, I am doing awesome! I think I will test the limits of what I can eat. It was partially curiosity, and partially a friend prodding, and then there was a little bit of desire on my own part, but I went to a pizza buffet. Oh yes, alllllll the things I should not eat - gluten (a lot of it), dairy (questionable at that), sugars (I just had to have the sticky bun for dessert). The only things I think I stayed clear of there was the grains and soy (because unless they are hidden in something, would they really be in a pizza parlor?). It was good. I have to admit. It was not fabulous, but it was good.

I weighed in the next morning and it was not THAT good! I gained 3.5lbs. OMG REALLY! Yes, really. I was shocked. I did not think I would gain back that much. Given, when Walter got off work and neither of us wanted to cook dinner, we did go to Torchy's for a massive burrito which was pretty good but include the grain (rice) that I was lacking earlier. I was pissed at myself. I could not believe my moment of weakness (that was not going there, but exceeding what I should have had and knowing it. Bad to think, "Oh, I am blowing it already so may as well do it all the way"). I knew what I was doing but did not think it was going to be that bad. Well, I behaved the next day. I did snack heavily on peanuts (probably not the best choice when I was bloating from all the pizza from the day before, but oh well). The next morning came and I weighed myself again. Zero! What? Are you kidding me? Zero? I reweighed and it was the same. I could not believe it. I behaved and did not lose a thing.

I was so accustomed to losing every day for the past 13 days that it never occured to me I could gain again. I was feeling like the biggest loser....really, just like the tv show when someone who was on a roll ended up losing nothing. That was yesterday. Not saying that my response to that zero was the right one, but I was lazy yesterday too. I ate some left over fried potatoes for breakfast (I know, where is the protein..there was none!), then for lunch I grilled some salmon and ate it with some eggs (well, there was the protein and fat, but where the fuck were the carbs!), then felt like a sweet, so had 4 small peaches (sounds like I was on track there right...just wait) covered in Half and Half (there's the zinger). I was watching movies at this time. I put the second one in and decided I wanted popcorn (here come the grains or as someone told me "razor blades to the colon"). If that was not bad enough, I added butter to it (but I have to say, it was a lot less than usual and it was fantastic). For dinner I met a friend out and had a beer and a burger oh...and queso and chips. ZING ZING ZINGER! Yup. I lost it again yesterday. It was a wonder why I possibly weighed in today. I knew I should not have, but thank god I did. It really gave me the reality of what doing shit like that is doing to me.

I weighed in and gained a pound and 1/2. So here it is. My 17lb weight loss just became a 12lb. loss. I was so excited I was finally in the 270's and literally 3 lbs away from being in the 260's (something I have not seen in like 6-7 years) and I fucked it up. I tested myself and I failed. Eating better is the way to go.

There is room for fun, like a cupcake one night after work, but nothing like gorging on pizza (which I think is still in my system and why the hamburger busted me, but it was prob the peached and cream and popcorn too!). Today I am back on the wagon! I am staying strict to it! I cannot afford to gain weight after losing. Once I am under 220 then I will consider it more. I will consider it once a week too, but no more! Back on the wagon baby! I am going to be rollin' again!