Mixture of Unexpained Emotions

Who knows why we feel the way we do when we do. Today at work the new girl started. This is the girl who got the job that I was not able to get. Now remember, I am actually glad I did not get into a job doing something that I did not want to do and into a job where I have to dress up everyday, but there are still some odd emotions running through my mind and body. I guess it could be because my boss has introduced her to everyone around my cube but me. Or it could be that I spent most of yesterday moving my cube to a different spot so she could have it. Or it could even be that I was asked to move some of the crap out of my old cube that has been there since before I was here. It is as if there was no place to put it while I was here, but for her a place needed to be found for it so it was not in the cubicle anymore.

I do remember that I am a temp. I remember that this is not my employer, Office Team is. I remember that, but somehow my feelings are still getting a little hurt, as they have been over the past few weeks. When I first started working here I was a temp. Then they saw how good I was and they treated me like a co-worker and part of the team. Once it was found that they could not hire me due to the high recruiting fees, they practically ignored me, not even giving me many things to do. I just cannot work in such a rollercoaster of a workplace! This may sound rude to all the women out there, but I cannot work in a female dominated office because of the rollercoasters! I am having issues with the whole way of office communication (even when you are 4 feet from them) is email, rarely even a phone call. It is as if offices want to avoid human contact at all costs!

I need a new job – a job where I can interact with human beings! A job where people talk to you and you are around people. I need a job where there is noise. I swear this is the quietest office I have ever worked in in my life. Given, I do work with some really nice people AND it could be the fact that I have not worked in a large office in many years and the standards have changed, but thank god I am doing it now. By doing it now, I have realized that this is no longer for me. It is not me. I need my freedom! I need people around me! I need to be creative! I moved to Austin to have that and why get into a job that suppresses that again! Anyhow, those are my feelings today!