Blessings?

So as many of you know, I was asked to apply for a position at the temp job I am working at. I did and was getting kind of excited over the decent pay, good benefits and full time status (especially in these rough times). I was told 2 days ago that I would not be getting the position due to the fact that HR did not want to pay the price required to buy out my contract from the temp agency.

After getting the news, I was shot. I was having a hard time functioning and, being in a very quiet office and alone in my cubicle, I had time to stew. I used the word stew because I had no way to vent or bounce out feelings to anyone. I was getting mad and frustrated and just felt like crap. I knew it was not my bosses fault. She thought HR would take care of it and I would be part of the time. I felt like I did not want to learn anymore. I did not want to put my extra into things anymore. I just wanted to go home and pout.

So many thoughts went though my mind: "What a waste of time learning all this when I could have been looking for a job" "Why am I getting so down over something that was not 100%?" "Why were they teaching me all this stuff anyhow?" "Fuck HR. Does talent now mean anything?" It was not until I got off work that day and started calling people and venting when I realized/remembered something...I did not want this job to begin with.

Even when she asked me to apply, I told her I would do it, but internally I was pondering IF I wanted to do this all day, every day. I honestly WANT to work downtown. I DON'T WANT to dress up every day. I DO WANT to be making a decent wage similar to what I made in Vegas. I DON'T WANT to be sitting behind a desk all day. I DO WANT to have things to do. I DON'T WANT to be pretending like I have things to do and surf the net all day. I DO WANT a full time spot somewhere.

I settled on the last thinking "What a great opportunity to jump into this business. How great it will look on my resume. I bet this could open up a lot of other opportunities in the future." I talked myself into it because right now, it is not easy to find a decent paying job, or any job for that matter. I was settling for something that probably I would be ok with, but not happy with in the next few months or years. I guess this was a blessing in disguise. I realize it now. I did not that day though. But now, I am feeling better and looking that
A. I still am working, temp or not.
B. I can still be job hunting.
C. There is probably something out there that I will have more of a passion for.

I guess, good things come to those who wait should be my current motto. There must be something good coming up.