I was sitting yesterday having a review with one of my bosses. She straight out told me that she and the other management team could see that I was much more talented than my job as a cashier. She understood that I was looking for another job and would miss me, but felt that I was not utilizing my talents in my current position.
I really appreciated that. While I do like my job at Whole Foods, and fully appreciate it, it is not me. It is not something I can see myself doing for a long period of time. It is, as she called it, "a stepping stone job"...something to get me by until I found the next best thing.
I views of the next best thing have certainly changed in the past 9 months that I have lived in Austin. I moved here thinking that I was so awesome and that I would find a job easily. I could not. Part of that was due to the economy, part due to my resume. The unfortunate part of my resume is that I have a little experience in a lot of things. I was able to prove my talents when temping at Texas Medical Association. They could see what a catch I was, but I guarantee that they would not have even looked at me based on my resume I had at the time. When I could not get the job with then due to the agency fee they were not willing to pay, I was crushed. Fortunately the VP of Marketing there had the faith in me and my abilities and offered to help me with my resume. While her help gave me an awesome looking resume that showcased my talents better, it still was showing me at "entry-level", something you do not want to be labeled as at age 35. After my separation there, I was encouraged to apply for things there after my agency contract was over (currently will end on November 2nd). I did continue to apply for various positions knowing I would not get them because of the agency fee, but to keep my name in there system and in the minds of the HR department. I still send the occasional email to members of the TMA team with a nice response.
I was thrilled to hear that at Whole Foods Global Offices that the hiring freeze was lifted. I started to looking for jobs immediately. I was sad to find that there was nothing that I was capable of doing or that I had enough experience to do. I still keep searching.
Over the past few months I have been applying for random jobs, even blindly sending my resume to many marketing and advertising firms in hopes they might have something. I received a few responses, mostly saying they had no "entry-level" positions available at the time. There it was again. That label! I finally had to humble myself and realize that I really was entry level. I had to change my search strategy. I had to actually start looking for entry-level. Hell, even at entry level in most places the pay was more than what I was making at WF and the hours would be consistent making that all add up to extra money.
Looking at it now, I was not applying for some jobs thinking I was not qualified for them or that I would not be able to perform. I was not sure what certain positions were so did not apply. I could not figure out exactly what I would be doing with others so never submitted my resume. What I am learning is that job descriptions are not always what they appear to be. They often times are more complicated and complex than the actual job. I have talked to people in some of the positions that I was avoiding, and realized that they really don't do much and their job is not hard, but in the descriptions it was the most complicated thing I have seen. So what is stopping me now from applying? I don't know. Part of me is holding out for a job upstairs at WFM. The other part of me is holding out for a job at TMA. A small part of me is hoping to acquire a job at UT. I figure what comes, comes. I am still up in the air with this one. Part of me wonders if I am holding out for something I want, or if I am afraid to try something new due to fear of succeeding at it. I am not sure where I stand. All I really know is that I have been humbled a hundred times over and am now ready for what is in store. While I realize life is not to be just experienced, but participated in, I also know that life is wonderful when it just happens (with the occasional push from me). I guess we will see. Maybe it is not fear on my part, just stupidity...
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