Evolution of a Relationship

I believe in evolution. No, not the theory of evolution (well, I do as it was intended) but in evolution of people. I believe to be successful in life, one should be in constant evolution. Learning, experiencing, digging into your soul for who you really are (not how society has shaped you), are all ways that cause us to evolve. I like to consider myself ever evolving. I like to hope that everyone around me is doing the same. I think we are. That is why some friends come while others go. Some friends you grow closer with while others you just don't mesh anymore because of the evolution of one, the other, or both.

I think part of a successful evolving relationship is where communication is involved talking about newly accepted changes, learnings, feelings, etc. When this communication lacks, the relationship may fall apart, or become highly distant and/or complicated.

This is what makes good friends great and mediocre friends fade away. People do enter your life at the right time to teach you something new. I am never sad to lose a friend who taught me something that made me better. While I am sad when they fade away or drop off completely, I accept it and move on.

Sometimes these relationships require new rules. Good example is that my mother and I NEVER talk about politics. It keeps peace and harmony when we are together. It does not mean that I an silent about my views, we just know that it causes contention where it is not necessary so avoid the topic. I think this is good at finding where your ground is with people. I avoid religious topics with some friends, child rearing frustrations with others. I just want a peaceful life and as an observer, know who and who not to talk to about certain subjects. I keep my identity, yet keep the peace too.

I know and understand boundaries. I know and understand how to push some boundaries too. That is part of evolution. Pushing boundaries to move ahead and helping others when you think they are ready. Nothing is better than becoming in sync with someone and progressing with them through change. It is symbiotic.

I sure hope I never stop in my evolution in life. I hope my friends never hit a stagnant spot either. Move on and move forward. Become better. And all the other cliches.

Not Sure Why I Am Feeling Like This

So it has been long known that I think marriage is a crock of shit. Most people are not faithful, most marriages now days end in divorce, and a lot that do survive are miserable. I personally don't think I need a piece of paper or a ring or a ceremony to tell the world I love my partner and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't need vows, I don't need recognition. Those who matter know our love for each other, and those who don't matter, well, don't matter. What I DO need is that safety that a marriage provides to my rights as a life partner. The rights to make decisions in my partners illness or death. The rights to have closure on my terms and bury him how he wanted and vice versa. If all my family is dead before I die and the last relative I have is an estranged sibling or niece/nephew, I don't want them touching my funeral, my assets, etc. That is what I want my partner to do. I don't think I should have to pay a lawyer to draft up powers of attorney for us to get these same legal rights that a drunken couple who just met and walk into a courthouse and pay $30 for a license and get married can do. That is FUCKED UP!

So, North Carolina, Amendment 1, is really bugging me that it passed last night. I don't live there. I don't plan to live there. It has happened in so many other states and never really bothered me before. So why now?

That being said, I wonder why the whole North Carolina Amendment 1 is pissing me off so bad, but reading back on it, I guess I do. It is the fact that ignorant bigots are VOTING TO SECLUDE ME FROM RIGHTS THAT ANY IN-BRED, REDNECK, MOTHER FUCKERS CAN DO 15 TIMES AND I CANNOT DO ONCE. Maybe, just maybe, that is what is pissing me off so badly today. Another thing that pisses me off is the some of the same people voting to seclude me from these CIVIL RIGHTS are those who not even 50 years ago were fighting for civil rights themselves. If they remembered that civil rights are the issue here, not what "Jesus", their preacher, or "the Bible" say, then this whole thing would never have passed or come close!

Now, I realize there is a lot of hate and judgement in getting this off my chest, so I want to  thank those who are educated enough, who are sympathetic to the human race, who are open minded, who are loving and voted against this movement in North Carolina. They should be recognized and I apologize to the readers if I sound at all condescending. I probably am.

Wow..I feel so much better now. Guess I just needed to get it out there!