Tipping - The madness is out of control

Just getting back from Italy made me again realize how much we tip in this country, AND how many people EXPECT to be tipped for doing their jobs. In my eyes, few people actually should be tipped; Wait staff in restaurants, bartenders, valet parkers (if the valet is free), someone who goes out of their work norm like a bagger who helps you out with your groceries and puts them in your car for you, cleaning staff at a hotel.

Generally, in Europe it is insulting to tip. It means you feel they are poor and need the money. Their culture is that a server, is a server, was trained and schooled to be a server, and is paid a fair wage by the restaurant they work for. Same with a hairstylist, etc. There are some things, like students during the summer time working at a gas station pumping gas that are working solely on tips from generous patrons. This is fine to tip as, like above, it is out of the norm what they are doing.

I was online the other day reading a Groupon deal or something like that about a laser hair removal deal. This is what started my slight rant over tipping. I was reading the deal on the vendor's webpage and read "Please tip on the actual cost of the service, not the discounted amount". I thought to myself, "You have to tip someone to get laser hair removal? Aren't you paying enough to the over priced treatment anyway? (Mind you, the sale was $149 for $600 worth of treatment. To me that just shows how grossly marked up that process is.) Then I started thinking, who the hell else are we going to have to start tipping now?

It's bad enough when you walk into a fast food place (not that I am there often) and they have a tip jar sitting there. ARE YOU KIDDING! YOU MAKE FUCKING HAMBURGERS FOR YOUR JOB. YOU ARE NOT EVEN DELIVERING THEM TO MY TABLE AND YOU WANT A FUCKING TIP?? I find it overly offensive that I am expected to tip when I get a hair cut. You want more money? Then charge more for the haircut. I think it is ridiculous that I pay $30 for a haircut, on my shaved head, easiest cut ever, and then am expected to tip for 10 minutes of their time on top of the overpriced charge. Then if you are at a fancier salon you tip the person washing your hair too? Are you kidding? Isn't that their fucking job to just wash hair all day? WOW! What a super skill to tip on! When I did go regularly to get my hair cut, I did get treatment above and beyond that I did feel a tip was due. I had a hot towel on my face, a light facial massage and neck massage, all ABOVE AND BEYOND just getting a hair cut.

But what's next? Will it be customary to tip your nurse and doctor now? Dentist and his hygienist? Cashiers at stores? Plumbers who make $30+ an hour plus a trip charge, plus a truck charge, plus markup on material? Fuck, tip me people! I make sure you get paid! That is a service worth giving money for!

We are just out of control in this country with tipping. People who don't do anything worthy of it want it, people who do a job that should be tipped expect it (even if they give shitty service), and people who go out feel they have to pay it. We I say fuck that! Make a choice people. Tip and tip well when it is deserved! But tip those who deserve it. Tip based off your service, not a percentage (I tip well over 20% most times, but on shitty service I will go under 10%). I am just saying, stop over tipping. Not in the way of leaving a great tip for someone deserving, but stop tipping the taco bell workers for making you a taco. Just stop tipping people who really do nothing but what they are hired and paid to do. Stop the madness!

6 Courses of Memories

If you could have a Top Chef challenge based on the most memorable food experiences in your relationship to make a six course meal, what would those important meals be?

For Walter and I, it would go something like this:

Course 1: based on our first date, the inspiration for the first course would be from a simple taco salad. It was our first date and we did not know what to do, so we decided to rent a movie and buy some food and enjoy an evening at Walter's apartment. It was then where Walter told me to make sure the lettuce was torn into "bite sized pieces", a joke we still bring up from time to time.

Course 2: bases on our first Valentines Day, it would be a Caribbean Chicken. Walter decided to cook dinner for our first Vday. He took me to work and took my car to go buy all the stuff. He would not tell me what he was making, but was sure proud of it. He showed up to pick me up with orange hair, a dying accident gone array. We enjoyed his meal and then headed to go see the Blue Man Group.

Course 3: is based on our find of the Heidelberg Cafe, our local German food restaurant in Las Vegas. We had the Jägerschnitzel. We would frequent this place for a few years, never forgetting Harold, the owners husband, and his kindness and handsome charm.

Course 4: is a theft from 9Steakhouse in the Palms Hotel. When Dallas moved to San Diego, we got the privilege to host our dear friend Zak at our house when he came to Vegas. While visiting, he would take us to a lovely meal and the most memorable one was at 9 Steakhouse. It was a dinner for two that included a bone-in porterhouse for two and lobster mashed potatoes. I was awesome and the potatoes brought us to our knees!

Course 5: there was no party as successful as the parties that Albert cooked for. His spring rolls, asian noodles, and won ton wrapped shrimps are never forgotten but remembered as some of the best party food we ever had. That's the inspiration for this course.

The 6th and final course would be nothing better than dessert. It seems like a staple in our late night Vegas cravings and something we would travel across town for to find a casino cafe that had a delicious one for us to devour; the brownie with vanilla ice-cream and whipped cream. We usually ended up at either Arizona Charlies or Texas Station for this late night treat.

32 Things I Learned While On Vacation

1. Always let others plan their own accomidations

2. When traveling with a group, make known that you might want to slip away to do other things

3. When going to Italy, fly in and out of Rome and make side trips accordingly

4. American travelers/Americans living in foreign countries are whiny little bitches. Avoid them at all costs

5. Learn basic phrases before you get there and make friends with the people and have them help you with your phrases

6. Ask the locals where they like to eat. It is usually the best food.

7. Don't eat near tourist spots in Rome

8. Just because an American lives there does not mean they know best. The usually know what is most familiar to them from America. Go local!

9. Be nice to those serving you. A smile and kind word could get you a better seat or more service, a discount on merchandise or food. Just be kind in general.

10. Drink lots of water.

11. Take lots of pictures

12. Keep a daily journal so you remember the experience and be honest so you remember the good and the bad.

13. Try - try the food, the language, to communicate even if it is hard. It will make the experience much better and you might just like something new.

14. Never judge a book by it's cover. Be cautious, but don't be ignorant. Grafitti does not make a bad neighborhood just like a nice handbag does not make you classy.

15. Be accepting of things that are not familiar to you. Just because it is not your norm does not make it bad

16. Be patient - at the airport, train station, restaurant, with others you travel with. No need to make drama when you are on vacation.

17. Wear the right shoes. Nothing worse that hardly being able to walk due to massive blisters on our feet.

18. Travel with people who have similar interests as you. If you like museums and your travel partner does not, there are going to be problems.

19. Fresh food is awesome.

20. Make sure you can charge all your stuff, bring at least 2 converters.

21. Brings little detergent just in case you need to hand wash some things

22. Cappuccino in the morning, espresso the rest of the day

23. Take the time to have an afternoon espresso.

24. Enjoy you meals. Take the time to eat and savor them

25. Italian food is simple. Simple sauces, simple pastas, simple salads. Food should not be that complicated.

26. Take a full day to just rest each week of travel. You are doing a lot and you need your rest to be able to enjoy it fully.

27. Portions are small, time to savor is long, day to day exercise is crucial.

28. Italian men are just hot.

29. The skin is the proof of good eating. Fat or thin, Italians have healthy glowing skin, and I can see by the fresh whole foods they eat why.

30. Friendships do change. Good friendships change and bend together. Bad friendships bend and snap. Learn to know which are deep and which are shallow.

31. Pack snacks and water. No matter how much you want to eat the local food all the time, sometimes you just need a snack.

32. Duty free cologne testers make up for smelly dirty clothes and no deodorant.

Happy, but sad for and old friend

So I was feeling a bit nostalgic today and decided to look up and old friend...one who opted to stop being my friend because of my sexuality. That aside, I decided to google him and see what he has been up to.

Google pulled up a plethora of things for he and his wife. I was very happy to read that they are highly successful. It looks like there is no lack for money, which is awesome. They both are highly talented in many areas.

In searching though the different pages I did notice that so many things that he wrote were very self centered and egotistical. I was reading things on the outside sounding light hearted, but the whole message was saying, "I am the one making this great, only me. Without me this would not be as awesome." Other statements reflected, "I am so great! No one could be as great and rounded as I am." These themes resonated in everything I read that he typed. It made me sad for him. This was a good friend who, while very talented, was somewhat humble. While he did have bragging rights for accomplishments in his life, it was not so brashly trumpeted to the public as I have seen. The arrogance is saddening but also make me somewhat happy that I am no longer in contact with this type of person.

Is it success that made him so overly arrogant? Or was he like this all along and I just overlooked it all those years ago? I just hope this reflection of him being a complete dick is only how he writes, and not how he actually is, although I fear it is.

To my old friend, I still think you are talented and awesome, but don't be such a dick because you are.

Ancient Chinese Secret...

No, this is not a blog about Calgon. It is about some eastern medicine and my thoughts on such.

Let's start off by saying I believe in modern medicine to a point. I believe the research is good. I think the doctors know a lot, but I also think a lot is a guessing game. I think the medicines out there are not meant to cure anyone, only to band-aid them. If medicines cured, then the pharmaceutical companies would be way out of business. So who do you really have to trust?

I could always state the obvious...kind of like Dr. Phil (who I think is a douche). Logic is not really hard to follow. If you get type-2 diabetes because you are overweight, then lose weight. If you keep getting acid reflux from eating certain foods, then, shit man, stop eating those foods! If you ache in the morning, then stretch. It is not really that hard. The drug companies make you want to just take a pill to make it all better and still enjoy your "lifestyle" and they prefer your lifestyle to be unhealthy so they can stay in business.

We are so brainwashed through advertising to "reward" ourselves with bad things (think Kit-Kat -"Give me a break (and) break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar!", or Budweizer - "For all you do, this Buds for you"). Long ago are the days when "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

I have been studying, learning, listening a lot about food, health and different remedies. Part of my studies have directed me to Chinese Medicine. Logic is telling me that "hey, they have been doing for thousands of years, and it is working for billions of people, so they must be on to something."

A little over a month ago I decided to cross the line of just taking herbs and drinking (often times horrible tasting) teas, to trying out acupuncture. It all began when I was super stressed from work. I was not sleeping well. I was not pleasant. I was tired. At work we were understaffed, working a lot of hours, and unsure where our project was headed. We were barely treading water and it was all getting to me. Add that to feeling bad that I was not seeing Walter much, sex drive was way down, and when I was around him I was not always the most enjoyable to be with. I tried some anti-stress herbs and vitamins. For the most part, Niacin was working well to keep me fairly perky, Melatonin was a trial to help with sleep, which, I still need to test more, my other vitamins I just got tired of taking, even my pro-biotics got pushed to the side. I needed the next level, but not the "here's a prescription, take this and hope you don't get any of the bad side effects" kind of level. I had heard, and talked to friends who did it, about acupuncture. My insurance covered it so I said "what the hell!"

I called and made an appointment at the highly recognized and very recommended Academy of Oriental Medicine at Austin . I was going to a student clinic where students took care of you under the supervision of a professional. I went in nervous and slightly skeptical. I was guided into a room and sat down. The room was low lighted (imagine if you were going to get a massage just without the candles and in a more sterile room). I was then asked what I came in for. I explained I was stressed, and a little boost to the ol' boner would be nice too. They asked me a series of questions to the tune of: "how many hours do you normally sleep? is it good sleep? how often do you have a bowel movement? is it usually hard or soft? What is bringing on your stress? How does your stomach feel after you eat? etc etc etc. It was interesting because the focused more on the bodily functions than they did on my stress.

The students then left the room, grabbed a Doctor and returned to convey to him what I had said to them and he asked a question or 2 more. They then left only to return back without the Doctor to give me my diagnosis. Apparently my "Heart and kidney were in disharmony AND I had liver 'qi' stagnation. Being fully open minded about this, I was able to not laugh. Reading it now, and thinking of all the not so opened minds may read this, it sounds hokey. After giving my diagnosis (I was laying down on the table by this point) they proceeded to poke the needles in my body. There were 21 that were going into me that day (1=forehead, 5= each hand, 2=stomach, 3=each foot, 1= each thigh). Putting them in did not really hurt.

The doctor said he would come back in 10 min to check on me. I lay there, arms stretched out checking the clock every min. I did not understand. Everyone told me how they fall asleep. How the feels so relaxed. Me? I was looking at the time. I was so not relaxed. The doctor to be came in to check on me. I said I was fine and he said he'd be back in 30 min then. I lay there. I could not relax. I reached for my phone to take pictures (that's where the one above came from). Snap. Snap. Snap. I think, "This is so funny. I should put the camera away in case the doctor comes in." I put the camera away - not the easiest task to do when you have 5 needles in your hand and forearm. I lay, look at the clock. Only 5 minutes had passed. I lay, then look again. Three minutes. "Damn," I think to myself, "This is going to take forever!"

I continue to play this game for about 10 more minutes until I finally relaxed. Then I heard the doctor in training walk in. I looked at the clock one more time. 25 min had passed. He let me know that he kept me in the room for a little longer than normal. I felt pretty good and a bit energized. I was not going to blame this on the acupuncture - I was still a bit skeptical. I left the office in a slight state of Nirvana.

On my way home I called Walter and all he had to tell me was "You just sound better" that took my skepticism away. If you could hear it in my voice, then it must be the same as what I was feeling.

I have been once since. It still felt good afterwards. I will continue to go as needed. Ancient Chinese secret...totally! Now to just add massage (recommended by the doctor in training) and I should be perfect!

A Time For Thanks

Typical, I know. There is just something about the season that makes one reflect on all the things they are thankful for.

So here it goes:

1. I am thankful for Walter still sticking around after all this time. I am reminded from time to time how lucky I am to have a relationship that is so effortless, and have a person with me that supports me and my thoughts, decisions, etc. even though he may not like or agree with some of them. I am lucky that he is willing to learn and evolve just as much as I am and experience new things in life.

2. I really I am thankful for my family even though I do not act like it sometimes. I am even thankful for those family members that are assholes to me. They teach me that you don't always have to love your family, but that you need to accept them for who they are. My family stresses me out, a lot, and teaches me patience and understanding.

3. I am thankful for my life. I am happy with the paths and adventures I have chosen to take and follow and the experiences that I have undergone. I cannot say I live with any regrets, and that I am too thankful for. It is not the way you take to the destination, it is how you enjoy the way you take and that you get to the destination. The destination is always the same, but the road each of us choses to follow is the trip of life, and I am thankful that my trip is adventurous and pleasurable.

4. I am thankful that in these hard economic times I was able to find a job - that I love! - with a company that suits me and my ideals! It gives me pleasure and joy to be part of what I do.

5. I am thankful for those friends; near and far, old and new, passed on and future. Everyone comes into my life for a reason and to teach me something. I am so grateful for all the lessons learned and everything that these people contribute to my journey.

6. I am grateful for knowledge, and the freedom to accept and reject teachings. I am thankful for the ability to be open to new things, thoughts, ideas; that I may be grounded and accepting of others even if my beliefs are different.

7. I am grateful for the growth I have gained personally. Grateful that I can take constructive criticism and work from that to be a better person. I am grateful to those to give it to me honestly, no matter how much it hurts my ego.

I think that sums up about everything. Listing things individually would be frustrating and tedious to me but I think my thanks is listed above. Thank you, whoever you are, who take the time to read my thoughts, rants, challenges. I hope it passes something good to you.

Ego Smashing Reality and other stories from the past few months

Well blogosphere, it has been since July since I have posted anything, so I am not sure where to begin. I think I am going to start with a followup on the last post. I have not been doing well, or anything really about weight loss. The stress over the past few month have had the opposite effect and I gained 5.5 pounds since then. That being said, work is coming to a plateau rather than a constant rise in workload, and more people being hired, so I can begin to focus on that again. I am not altering the goal, or throwing it out the window, but trudging forward with a knowledge that I can and will succeed in it.

August brought on a month of no weekends at home. We did a wedding for my sister-in-law, Angela. It was lovely and full of anxiety for me. All of Walter's family all in one place and I had met very few of them. It waspretty cool and most of the family were lovely to me. I did get gay bashed however by his Aunt Gloria; a pious creepy evil woman (think of the Grandmother from the movie "Flowers in the Attic"). I was kind of in shock as I have never been verbally gay bashed before. But, fortunately I remembered this was the bitch aunt who no one liked and was always causing trouble in the family, so I brushed it off. Still makes a great story though!

The following weekend was our annual trip to Wimberly with Walter's high school mates and their fantastic spouses. It was a nice weekend of chatting, game playing and delicious food. Always a pleasure to leave the city for a quite weekend with wonderful people.

The weekend after, was a nice long trip to my mom's house. This one I took alone. My little brother (not so little at age 29) was in a motorcycle accident in June so went out to bring a little cheer. Can't say it was a fully pleasurable trip. My little brother was being a dick. My mom was stressed out. I was working on computers most of the time. I did however find that I was giving my mom some much needed strength and relief. That made it worth it.

Oh, and the month of August, I also ditched the mohawk. Time for new hair, and this time I am growing it out. Not sure how long, but longer (not that I could make it shorter). So I am currently sporting some slicked back hair most days til it grows enough to go back by itself.

September was a blur. I just worked a lot. Almost every weekend. That being said...

I guess I should go with work (the main reason I have not been blogging). Work has been crazy! The highly aggressive roll out of my project has caused us to hire, just since July, 7 new resources including the last 2 this past week. Hopefully that will help us stabilize and get a work/life balance back. I have to say though that the overtime pay has come in very handy to buy a lot of things: 2 new computer desks, cappuccino maker, new kitchen accessories, pay off 2 credit cards, finish paying for our cruise in January, the start of some Christmas presents, a new couch, and some fabulous meals out. I can say I am exhausted, but the rewards have been more than awesome.

That takes me into i very ego blowing experience...my promotion. It is still fresh, and kind of stings, but I am fine with it. It was only this past Thursday that I was crushed. I cannot say I was pissed that I did not get the promotion. I am pretty awesome, but the girl who did get it did have more AP experience than I do. The crushing part was that I did not get it because the people on my team feel that I take an authoritative attitude and tone with them when I help them. I am the most knowledgeable person on the team with the software we use, and about the process, so of course, most people come to me with problems. Apparently, even though they still come and ask, they don't like asking me things because they feel like I am lecturing them. I felt a little thrown from left field on this one. The feedback was followed up with a "but everyone on the team loves you". Great. That sure made it better. I went home, drank a little and waited for Walter to get home to console me a little. Boy should I have just gone to bed! Walter got home, started to console me and as I told him the reason/feedback I received, he agreed whole heartedly with it. I sat there as he told me that I do get a condescending tone with people, kind of the tone I was talking in when telling him the story. GREAT! SO NOW I TALK IN A TONE TO EVERYONE! Ever think that is just how I talk? SO not what I needed to hear that night, so I just went to bed.

After some thought and reflection, Walter was right (although his timing to tell me that was VERY wrong). So I need to work on something. I cannot complain about not getting it. Look where not getting jobs I wanted got me: I did not get a position when I first moved here at TMA. That caused me to get a part time job at Whole Foods. I did not get the other jobs I applied for at TMA which caused me to go full time at Whole Foods. I did not get the trainer job for my team at Whole Foods which caused me to go for the position I have now at Whole Foods Global. There is obviously something better out there in the plan for me, and this experience just opened a way for me to work on faults to be able to make that next awesome step.

Well, hopefully I will be taking more time to post. Hopefully I will have more thoughts to post about. Hopefully I can update on my "challenge" to the universe with positive results. Til, next time...