A Time For Thanks

Typical, I know. There is just something about the season that makes one reflect on all the things they are thankful for.

So here it goes:

1. I am thankful for Walter still sticking around after all this time. I am reminded from time to time how lucky I am to have a relationship that is so effortless, and have a person with me that supports me and my thoughts, decisions, etc. even though he may not like or agree with some of them. I am lucky that he is willing to learn and evolve just as much as I am and experience new things in life.

2. I really I am thankful for my family even though I do not act like it sometimes. I am even thankful for those family members that are assholes to me. They teach me that you don't always have to love your family, but that you need to accept them for who they are. My family stresses me out, a lot, and teaches me patience and understanding.

3. I am thankful for my life. I am happy with the paths and adventures I have chosen to take and follow and the experiences that I have undergone. I cannot say I live with any regrets, and that I am too thankful for. It is not the way you take to the destination, it is how you enjoy the way you take and that you get to the destination. The destination is always the same, but the road each of us choses to follow is the trip of life, and I am thankful that my trip is adventurous and pleasurable.

4. I am thankful that in these hard economic times I was able to find a job - that I love! - with a company that suits me and my ideals! It gives me pleasure and joy to be part of what I do.

5. I am thankful for those friends; near and far, old and new, passed on and future. Everyone comes into my life for a reason and to teach me something. I am so grateful for all the lessons learned and everything that these people contribute to my journey.

6. I am grateful for knowledge, and the freedom to accept and reject teachings. I am thankful for the ability to be open to new things, thoughts, ideas; that I may be grounded and accepting of others even if my beliefs are different.

7. I am grateful for the growth I have gained personally. Grateful that I can take constructive criticism and work from that to be a better person. I am grateful to those to give it to me honestly, no matter how much it hurts my ego.

I think that sums up about everything. Listing things individually would be frustrating and tedious to me but I think my thanks is listed above. Thank you, whoever you are, who take the time to read my thoughts, rants, challenges. I hope it passes something good to you.

Ego Smashing Reality and other stories from the past few months

Well blogosphere, it has been since July since I have posted anything, so I am not sure where to begin. I think I am going to start with a followup on the last post. I have not been doing well, or anything really about weight loss. The stress over the past few month have had the opposite effect and I gained 5.5 pounds since then. That being said, work is coming to a plateau rather than a constant rise in workload, and more people being hired, so I can begin to focus on that again. I am not altering the goal, or throwing it out the window, but trudging forward with a knowledge that I can and will succeed in it.

August brought on a month of no weekends at home. We did a wedding for my sister-in-law, Angela. It was lovely and full of anxiety for me. All of Walter's family all in one place and I had met very few of them. It waspretty cool and most of the family were lovely to me. I did get gay bashed however by his Aunt Gloria; a pious creepy evil woman (think of the Grandmother from the movie "Flowers in the Attic"). I was kind of in shock as I have never been verbally gay bashed before. But, fortunately I remembered this was the bitch aunt who no one liked and was always causing trouble in the family, so I brushed it off. Still makes a great story though!

The following weekend was our annual trip to Wimberly with Walter's high school mates and their fantastic spouses. It was a nice weekend of chatting, game playing and delicious food. Always a pleasure to leave the city for a quite weekend with wonderful people.

The weekend after, was a nice long trip to my mom's house. This one I took alone. My little brother (not so little at age 29) was in a motorcycle accident in June so went out to bring a little cheer. Can't say it was a fully pleasurable trip. My little brother was being a dick. My mom was stressed out. I was working on computers most of the time. I did however find that I was giving my mom some much needed strength and relief. That made it worth it.

Oh, and the month of August, I also ditched the mohawk. Time for new hair, and this time I am growing it out. Not sure how long, but longer (not that I could make it shorter). So I am currently sporting some slicked back hair most days til it grows enough to go back by itself.

September was a blur. I just worked a lot. Almost every weekend. That being said...

I guess I should go with work (the main reason I have not been blogging). Work has been crazy! The highly aggressive roll out of my project has caused us to hire, just since July, 7 new resources including the last 2 this past week. Hopefully that will help us stabilize and get a work/life balance back. I have to say though that the overtime pay has come in very handy to buy a lot of things: 2 new computer desks, cappuccino maker, new kitchen accessories, pay off 2 credit cards, finish paying for our cruise in January, the start of some Christmas presents, a new couch, and some fabulous meals out. I can say I am exhausted, but the rewards have been more than awesome.

That takes me into i very ego blowing experience...my promotion. It is still fresh, and kind of stings, but I am fine with it. It was only this past Thursday that I was crushed. I cannot say I was pissed that I did not get the promotion. I am pretty awesome, but the girl who did get it did have more AP experience than I do. The crushing part was that I did not get it because the people on my team feel that I take an authoritative attitude and tone with them when I help them. I am the most knowledgeable person on the team with the software we use, and about the process, so of course, most people come to me with problems. Apparently, even though they still come and ask, they don't like asking me things because they feel like I am lecturing them. I felt a little thrown from left field on this one. The feedback was followed up with a "but everyone on the team loves you". Great. That sure made it better. I went home, drank a little and waited for Walter to get home to console me a little. Boy should I have just gone to bed! Walter got home, started to console me and as I told him the reason/feedback I received, he agreed whole heartedly with it. I sat there as he told me that I do get a condescending tone with people, kind of the tone I was talking in when telling him the story. GREAT! SO NOW I TALK IN A TONE TO EVERYONE! Ever think that is just how I talk? SO not what I needed to hear that night, so I just went to bed.

After some thought and reflection, Walter was right (although his timing to tell me that was VERY wrong). So I need to work on something. I cannot complain about not getting it. Look where not getting jobs I wanted got me: I did not get a position when I first moved here at TMA. That caused me to get a part time job at Whole Foods. I did not get the other jobs I applied for at TMA which caused me to go full time at Whole Foods. I did not get the trainer job for my team at Whole Foods which caused me to go for the position I have now at Whole Foods Global. There is obviously something better out there in the plan for me, and this experience just opened a way for me to work on faults to be able to make that next awesome step.

Well, hopefully I will be taking more time to post. Hopefully I will have more thoughts to post about. Hopefully I can update on my "challenge" to the universe with positive results. Til, next time...