Life as an Adventure

Today while at work I had two fairly random yet similar things happen. While talking to a co-worker she looked a little down. I asked if she was ok and she said she was having a bum day. I told her we all have those from time to time. She asked if I ever did because I am always happy. I told her I sure as hell did, but she just was never around to see them, but in general I am happy. Later on I was talking to a woman while bagging her groceries. I asked how she was. She said good. She in turn asked how I was and I said I was "fantastic". She stopped and looked at me and said she was stunned by my response; it was the best she had heard in a long time. I told her you have gotta make life fantastic everyday!

It got me to thinking. Do I make life fantastic every day? The answer is no. Why not!? I guess sometimes I am too lazy. Today was mostly great even though a few thing went wrong. I still got errands done, sat for a bit in a coffee shop, went to work, grocery shopped and made a great dinner and spent a few hours with Walter before he went to bed. Why do I not do this every day? Days like these make me happy. I enjoy them. I do not enjoy doing nothing all day and being couped up in the house.

The real question is am I going to change it. I took the first step in living a better life...moving. Now we live in a fabulous city that has more options I am interested in and it is a great start. The next step is simple yet hard sometimes....leaving the house to take advantage of those options. Just because I work does not mean I cannot get out earlier and go to the coffee shop, or on days I close go to the springs to enjoy the outdoors and water. I can go running or walking by the lake after work in the evenings. I don't have to watch TV, or do laundry if I don't want to. I can do that another time when I am bound to being home (you know like when I want to cook or something). This life is an adventure, the only problem is, you have to take the initiative to make it one. I don't want to be the person that is given the opportunity and I just stay in the car and look. Get me out and let me run around! Stop the car and lets explore!

I have to admit I am getting better and often trying, but some days I am not fantastic and it is harder to want to be out and about. I am lucky that I have a good life and awesome people who sometimes push me to take the adventure although I often think I am more the one pushing them into it!

Let's make the most of it. We only live once!
So eat monk fish.
Run a marathon (although you will never see me want to do that I don't think, but I will never say never).
Skinny dip at the lake/beach.
Fall in love.
Make each day AWESOME and unforgettable!
Stop judging others by their outside appearances but understand them for who they are, regardless of if you agree or not.
Listen to a different genre of music outside your comfort zone, not to enjoy it, but to understand it.
Take a walk in the rain WITHOUT an umbrella or raincoat.
Smile at people. You'll be surprised at how many people will genuinely smile back.
Fail at things. It is the only way to find out how to succeed and to be humble when you do have success.
Do what you are good at. Stop focusing on being better at things you are not naturally good at. Excel at those things that come to you naturally and let others excel in their areas of strength. Those are the strongest teams.
Eat cake. Who cares about the carbs or calories. Just eat it in moderation to enjoy and experience the flavors.
Walk around outside and open your senses. Hear the sounds. Smell the scents. See the beauty. If you lack one of those senses, then compensate and imagine it. If you have all those senses, be grateful.
Say "Thank you" and be sincere about it. Do it to the waiter who fills your water glass, the shop girl as you leave the shop, your sweetheart when they bring you an evening snack.

Nothing was a better read when I was a kid than the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series. Life IS a choose your own adventure. Make it the most exciting. Help others have the best they can too. It becomes a Win Win.

Exchange of Intelligence

Nothing excites me more than a nice evening of dinner and conversation. I love being around people who can kick around feelings and ideas. I find myself more edified when I hear how others think and believe and find it often enforces my own beliefs and also causes me to think more and form new views and opinions which will turn into new beliefs.

Tonight was such a night and we had a glorious debate over things such as religion, marriage, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, science, evolution and seasonings. It was stimulating and enjoyable and such a great exchange amongst friends. I love to surround myself with people who not only share their ideas, but are open to new ones. I personally am not overly passionate about any one subject, but find myself open to new ideas and perspectives in many areas. I love to remain open to not judge or nay-say anything, but to question, post new ideas, and cause others to think differently. I am not one to force my ideas but to exchange them so that all are enlightened and can improve on each others views.

I think if we all stopped trying to prove who is right and who is wrong and just listen to each other and take out thinks we can add to our own beliefs that the world would be a better place. We would fight less and improve our minds more. I hope we can all have a delightful exchange of intelligence and accept that others have different views and love that as human beings we have the right to think and believe differently.

The Tartan of My Life is Beautiful and Colorful

It is amazing to me how life truly is like a piece of fabric to where each experience, choice, decision, activity, job, or whatever it may be is woven into it and creates a beautiful design. I really am blessed that my life is making a beautiful tartan of my existence.

I was talking to people at work today and recounting portions of my past and still am amazed at all I have accomplished in my lifetime so far. It is not full of grandiose accomplishments, but of small experiences with the occasional accomplishment added in. I am proud of all that I have done and, while some would find certain things I have done in my lifetime shameful, significant, wonderful, or dull, I find that those things are what made the most beautiful designs in making me what I am today.

Some say that pride is a bad thing. If that is so, then I am full of bad things! I am so proud of who I am, what I do, what I have learned from good and bad experiences. I am proud of the way I treat people, the truth I live my life by and the honesty I speak when I speak from my heart. I am a passionate person. I cry. I love and I am loved. I am ever-changing. I am not one thing but many things. I care, but am selective about what and who I care about. I am strong and adventurous. I am weak and teachable. I love to learn, but not always from books or experts, but from life and the people who live it. I am well traveled. I know what I know because I want to know it. I am loyal. I am a friend, in every sense of the word, even though at times I can be self centered, I am there when needed. I am colorful.

Today I did look back at a bit of the tartan of my life and what I saw was beautiful and colorful, warming and comforting, exciting and bold. I cannot wait for more to be woven into it!

Less is More in your Wallet

So why is it that our culture thinks that we want the biggest portions for the buck at restaurants? I know everyone wants a good deal, but really, look what it is doing to us! Bigger is making us HUGE! Most of the time I cannot even finish my meal, yet, time and time again, I order the thing that give me the biggest bang for my buck. Do I do that because they offer it? or because I want the left overs? I don't know, but what I do know is that I really wish I could go to a restaurant and get a proper sized portion meal for a decent price. I want something that I will probably not throw out or have to take home for an equitable price.

Half portions are seriously awesome, but often times not half the price, but rather $2-$3 less. So I am getting half as much for 1/5th less price? That just does not add up to me. I would rather pay full price for a full order and have lunch for the next day! That makes financial sense! I say, especially with the economy they way it is, that restaurants cut the portions, cut the price and have more frequent visits from customers because they can afford to come more often because each trip is not such a financial burden.

Now think of this, if people are not so stuffed, they will start to order desserts, after dinner coffees, and even more appetizers. I know that when I go out we often skip the appetizers because A. they are really pricey and B. because after eating that we are too full for our meal! Less is more! Let me spell it out a little:

Dining Currently at and Average Chain Restaurant:
Appetizer.......6.99
Entree...........10.99 x2
Dessert.........4.99 x2
Drinks..........1.99 x2
________________
Total Ideal Dinner $42.93 + tip and tax
minus out the desserts (because you are too full) $32.98 +tip and tax
Now you are debating the appetizer because you know the meal is big $25.96 +tip and tax

Imagine Smaller Portions and Prices:
Appetizer......$4.99
Entree..........$6.99 x2
Dessert.........$2.99 x2
Drinks..........$1.99 x2
_________________
Total Smaller Portion Meal $28.93 +tip and tax

You are spending less on food costs because you are serving less, but people can now afford to eat each course and not at the risk of becoming overly full and fat! and your average bill is up $3!

Anyhow, that is what I think. I am sure they have paid smarter people to figure out their side, but from the side of a diner who grew up to eat everything on his plate and lacks the control to not and has become a bit chubby because of it (not totally, but highly contributed by), I say smaller portions, smaller price. Chant it with me! Smaller Portions! Smaller Price! Smaller Portions! Smaller Price! Smaller Portions! Smaller Price! Smaller Portions! Smaller Price!

So Glad I am as open as I am

There have been a few crazy things happening the past little bit that make me so glad for a few things. #1 That I did not hide I was gay and decided to live a life of truth. #2 That I am not anally churchy. #3 That I have friends who love me regardless, better than some of my own family members.

Story #1. So apparently my oldest brother's family came through and stayed for a little at my mom's house. Mind you, I have not seen these people in YEARS, I would reckon about 7 years. I have never even seen one of his children except by a picture my mom has hanging in her office. So I guess while they were hanging out with my oldest sisters kids and my little brother they were making derogatory slurs about their uncle Stephen...me! I was shocked when I heard this and highly offended. I know my brother well enough that I am sure he is not going out of his way to talk about me to his kids or teach them rude things to say about a family member, but my cunt bitch pious skank of a sister in law would. This is also a woman who my best childhood friend saw at church one day and asked for my contact info from and she refused to give it to him because he "didn't want to contact (me) anyhow because (I am) gay." Seriously? I cannot wait for her to burn in hell like she deserves. Thank god that my nieces, who know me and hang out with me and Walter, come to my defense. They stuck up for gay people in genral not understanding the "problem" that my brother's kids felt. They stuck up for me and Walter as did my little brother. Why the hell are people who claim to be so "righteous" so evil? I guess my feelings about "those who preach the loudest end up being the worst" rings true, even with "family". That is ok, because somehow, in the unwritten gay laws, being a gay man, affords me to choose my "family" and disregard those I don't need in my life. I have 2 siblings I love to death and a mother I would do anything for not to mention neices I adore. In addition to that I have so many beautiful friends that span across the country and Europe. What is getting rid of a little trash out of my life gonna hurt.

Story#2 So I am on Facebook the other day and saw a friend from high school make a post about 'fuck" being in the James Blunt song "You're Beautiful". I was intrigued so started reading the posts which included: "I need to delete it off my playlist then" "I don't know why they ruin songs with that stuff" "I think people's IQs are small if they can't think of another word to use than that". My personal though was "FUCKIN' REALLY?" Fuck envokes a feeling that another word cannot conjure up. It expresses a feeling that does not get defined in any other way. It also gets a reaction, like they were giving, that people like to get. One intelligent response was "I thought it was considered poetic now". I was so impressed. I had to add my 2 cents to it and show my shock that they were offended that the "f" word was used and not at the drug reference in the same sentence. One response was that they thought "flying high" was they were so in love with the beauty. REALLY? HOW FUCKING LAME ARE YOU TO NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND A DRUG REFERENCE! Oh, mind you, that response was from a single 35 year old Mormon girl. I guess consider the source. Needless to say, while having coffee last night with friends I decided to share this posting with them which not only started a nice laughter, but a conversation on how lame people really are over the most unimportant things. This made me glad not only that I was gay and did not try to fit into this Mormon mold, but that I am open minded enough to accept people who don't fit into any certain molds. I may judge people to a certain point, but more because they are close minded than for being indiviuals.

Those are my stories and I am sticking to them!

When The Feeling Strikes

So today I saw something I don't see often. My friend and I were grabbing a small bite to eat at Taco Cabana. As we were eating I saw some young punks show up on the patio. I did not think much of it. One was short, scruffy, pierced mouth, and had a military backpack on. The other, tall, red mohawk, black denim jacket with some punk band's graphic sewn to the back of it. Nothing out of the ordinary for Austin. My friend and I kept talking as I watched these young guys. All of the sudden the short one bent over into a garbage can and started digging. After a moment he popped out with a full soft taco in hand as if he just struck gold. The both came inside to the salsa bar and filled up on salsa, limes and whatever else they could get. I felt bad for them. They went back out into the 103 degree patio and started to share the taco. It seemed as if they had not eaten for awhile by the way they slowly shared it, each taking one bite then setting it down for the other to take his. My heart felt warm and I reached into my pocket for my wallet. I had a dollar in there. There was nothing in the restaurant that even cost a dollar. I contemplated how much change I had in the car. I had a feeling these guys could really use some food. Thank god today was payday and I had some money in the account. I told Cat to wait a second and walked out to the patio.
"You guys want some tacos?" I asked.
"YEAH!" the short one belted, then humbly said, "thanks."
I asked them what kind they wanted. The tall one said, "Anything with meat in it," so I asked, "Beef or chicken?"
"Beef," they both replied.
As I was walking in the door, they shot out another thanks. I went to the counter and ordered them 4 beef tacos. I contemplated buying more, and I probably should have, but I had to take into account the lack of money I actually had. I took the receipt to them and told them to just go pick it up. The gave another thanks and then had smiles on their faces.
I tried not to watch them as they came in to pick up the food or as they grabbed some water and more salsas. I tried not to watch as their beaten down moods had changed to smiling conversation. They still sat on the patio with a stray dog under foot but this time seeming to enjoy it. Cat was trying to make a bigger deal out of it than it was. I had to tell her it is nothing I do often, but I just had a feeling they really needed it. A quick change of conversation lead to me talking about children's films while I continued to elusively watch young guys.
We left about the same time as they did. Them with smiles on their faces and something in their stomachs and me feeling that I could at least give them a little something, but my gut feeling still knowing I did the right thing.
Any of you who know me know I always follow my gut feeling and really don't have much sympathy for beggars or homeless, but when the feeling strikes....

Bohemia Bohemia

Give a boy some freedom and watch him take off...and take off I did. A mere 6 months ago I was clean shaven, suit wearing, wing-tipped shoe toting Stephen Graham...Pit Boss. Take me to a temp job and I was about the same, just with better shoes and more colorful shirts. Put me to work at Whole Foods and I fall into my deepest desire for attire, shorts and t-shirts. Teach me a few things and I lose 30 pounds. Give me the freedom and I grow a beard. Catch me feeling frisky on a day I cut my hair and you now find me with a mohawk! Yes people, the old Steve is back and crackin'! My artistic juices are flowing, my individuality is surfacing again, and I am getting back to my old self!
I feel as if the shackles of conformity were taken off. I am so pleased to be at a job where you can be who you are anyway you want to be. I am pleased to be in a town where people are so open about life and freedom of expression and NOTHING seems to shock them it is great! I am actually quite fond of my new hair style and even temped to trim the sides much shorter, but we will see. You never know what kind of hair will ride up my ass! (singing "Freedom" by George Michael). Gotta love life a bit. Give me a good coffee and a relaxed coffee shop, some good conversation or a good book and life is grand! I am even forgetting how poor we are! I think this is one of the best and liberating decisions of my life!