My Renaissance

The term renaissance is often used to describe any revival or rediscovery. This past year and a half I have been rediscovering myself. I have been learning more about, remembering more about, and just being...myself. Some people may think I have changed. Others think I am becoming how I used to be. I am just finding that I am in a rediscovery period.

There are many things that have brought me here. I think the first and most major one is our relocation to Austin. Not only was it a change of location, but a change of income, careers, and mentalities around us. Austin is such an open, artistic, fit, "weird" city that I feel completely at home being whatever I am or want to be. "Keep Austin Weird" is the motto here, and I love it! Now that we/I am more adjusted in this wonderful city, I am finding more balance.

I am going out and doing more, not hindered by the worried of leaving Walter behind because he is working, but more so, going and doing and having Walter join after work. We are doing things together; Barton Springs, kayaking on Town Lake, happy hours. We are getting out of the house and loving it. That is partially because I have a new job with a higher income.

I have written a lot here and on Facebook about my job hunt since moving. It was long and treacherous, and it was definitely a soul searching experience. People who know me really well know that my ideal job would be doing office work but being able to wear shorts and a t-shirt and if all possible, flip flops. That being said, I found what seemed to be impossible. I had some of my dealers ask me what I was going to do in Austin. I only responded that I wanted a job where I did not have to wear a suit or dress up and (half jokingly) that I could have a mohawk if I wanted to! Somehow, I got all that!

Before moving to Austin, but after deciding to make the move, I found out that Whole Foods had a corporate office here. I was not an avid shopper of Whole Foods Market, yet had some strong desire to work there. I mentioned on a few occasions that I wanted to work at Whole Foods corporate offices (finding out later they are called Global Headquarters). I searched for jobs before we moved here and with little success found nothing (finding out the economy had them on a huge hiring freeze).

Fast forward to the following February and I started temping at the Texas Medical Association. I was in the marketing department and was loving what I was doing. I was good at it. I was offered the position from the VP of Marketing. I was later told that their policy was not to pay temp agency fees to bring on a new hire. Up, down, crush. Ouch! As my assignment came to a close I was getting less and less work to do. This led to many boring days of surfing the internet and out of boredom, but to great enjoyment, I found Facebook. Reconnecting with old friends was so fun and was making the time fly. To my wonderful surprise, I was told a friend of mine from when I lived in Salt Lake City, now lived in Austin. I quickly searched him, friended him, and almost as quickly we were chatting, then meeting, then having dinner and reconnecting. It was wonderful to see an old friend 11 years after losing contact. When I told him I was looking for a job, he and his partner put the feelers out at Whole Foods where they both worked. I ultimately got a job at the flagship store, in hopes of getting into the corporate offices or, just some money coming in til I found a "real job". I never hid my desires from my management team. I even turned down becoming full time twice because I did not want someone who really needed it to not have it because I was sure I would find a real job soon. I finally took a full time spot. I was still searching for jobs on the side.

Over 170 resumes sent out, some for positions, some blindly begging for something. I had in my mind I wanted to do Marketing. I did not want to do Sale, and definitely no more Admin. The longer I was looking for jobs, the more my "do not wants" changed. I became willing to do them both, just to get a better paying, more my speed, job. I applied at Texas Medical Association once my 6 months were up with the temp agency. I had 4 interviews with them. I was even told by the HR girl that they want to have me there, but want to make sure I am in the right position. I was sad and torn after each one. I was frustrated. I finally realized, after my last interview, that I did not know a ton about TMA. I was learning more and more each interview, and in the end, I would have to be and act something different that who I am to work there. They lobby for things I do not believe in. They were a good organization, but I could only believe in what they did, personally, about 50% of the time. It was then, the end of 2009, that I decided with Whole Foods I could believe in what they believe and strive for 90+% of the time.

I finally saw what I had in front of me and decided to find a job at the regional office or at Global. I applied for a job I was totally qualified for (doing admin) and did not get it. I was crushed, and shocked I did not get it. One thing I love about Whole Foods is the opportunity they give you to deliver you feedback on your interview. I got great feedback, and realized that they made the right decision not choosing me. I interviewed for a team trainer position on my team in the store. I did not get that...mostly because they were afraid I would not stick around long enough because I was interviewing for things upstairs. This pissed me off. BAD! The next day I searched the intranet at work and found a position. An entry level accounting position. I had been thinking in my job hunts that maybe I would go back to school to do accounting, and here was an entry level position to do that. I applied. After weeks of preparation and "interviewing" I finally had the interview and got the position. I love it! I am totally enjoying it and rocking it out! So now living was in balance, now job and finances are in balance.

Now working on balancing my physical self. I have been eating much better than I was. I still have probably too many indulgences, but hey, gotta live life, but also gotta have a life to live. That being said, I am joining the gym. I bought the 24hr Fitness membership and just got it in the mail last night. Now just to take it down to the club and get my shit started. When I eat perfect, I lose weight quickly. When I eat mostly good, I stay the same. I don't eat really bad often, so no worries with gaining weight, but eating mostly good AND starting to work out will cause me to start losing AND get my ass into better physical condition. I don't intend on being this thin ripped guy. I just want to not have my belly, be active, and feel better. I know my limitations and I know what I want. I am limited by the rich foods I like to cook and eat. I know I have altered my cooking and eating habits to be better to balance out the indulgences. I know I want to feel better and be fit. I am getting this part of life in balance again. It has been about 10 years since I have been out of balance in this area. Now I am getting back!

I have some awesome friends. I have some friends that are spread out and a few here that I hang out with regularly. I feel, however, that I am out of balance socially. I am Aquarian and we are highly social people. While we are fine being alone sometimes, we prefer to be around friends. I can count on both hands how many friends we have in Austin we socialize with regularly. I can count on 2 fingers how many share the same/similar schedule as myself. I am trying to go out, meet more people who are worthy to attract my free time, and make more friends. I am slowly becoming successful at this. It takes time to "date" friends and get to know them. It takes time and effort to go try to meet new people. Not that this part of my life is out of balance, but it can use improvement.

I am also reinventing my rules. Rules on every aspect of my life. I am becoming more hippyish I think. I am taking a live and let live attitude. If it does not hurt you, hurt others because you do it then who the hell cares. Part of this thought may come from the protesters of gay marriage. They are worried it will ruin the institution of marriage? They seem to be ruining pretty darn well themselves. I highly doubt a little gay flair added to it is gonna add anything worse to the institution of marriage than is already there. But, off my rant..point being, if it does not directly effect you or hurt you, who the fuck cares! I have to say this thought is highly liberating and is helping me relax. Gotta love that.

Well, typing for over an hour now, I gotta get my ass to work. Thanks for listening, well reading. Letting me catch up. Whatever this just was.