So Glad I am as open as I am

There have been a few crazy things happening the past little bit that make me so glad for a few things. #1 That I did not hide I was gay and decided to live a life of truth. #2 That I am not anally churchy. #3 That I have friends who love me regardless, better than some of my own family members.

Story #1. So apparently my oldest brother's family came through and stayed for a little at my mom's house. Mind you, I have not seen these people in YEARS, I would reckon about 7 years. I have never even seen one of his children except by a picture my mom has hanging in her office. So I guess while they were hanging out with my oldest sisters kids and my little brother they were making derogatory slurs about their uncle Stephen...me! I was shocked when I heard this and highly offended. I know my brother well enough that I am sure he is not going out of his way to talk about me to his kids or teach them rude things to say about a family member, but my cunt bitch pious skank of a sister in law would. This is also a woman who my best childhood friend saw at church one day and asked for my contact info from and she refused to give it to him because he "didn't want to contact (me) anyhow because (I am) gay." Seriously? I cannot wait for her to burn in hell like she deserves. Thank god that my nieces, who know me and hang out with me and Walter, come to my defense. They stuck up for gay people in genral not understanding the "problem" that my brother's kids felt. They stuck up for me and Walter as did my little brother. Why the hell are people who claim to be so "righteous" so evil? I guess my feelings about "those who preach the loudest end up being the worst" rings true, even with "family". That is ok, because somehow, in the unwritten gay laws, being a gay man, affords me to choose my "family" and disregard those I don't need in my life. I have 2 siblings I love to death and a mother I would do anything for not to mention neices I adore. In addition to that I have so many beautiful friends that span across the country and Europe. What is getting rid of a little trash out of my life gonna hurt.

Story#2 So I am on Facebook the other day and saw a friend from high school make a post about 'fuck" being in the James Blunt song "You're Beautiful". I was intrigued so started reading the posts which included: "I need to delete it off my playlist then" "I don't know why they ruin songs with that stuff" "I think people's IQs are small if they can't think of another word to use than that". My personal though was "FUCKIN' REALLY?" Fuck envokes a feeling that another word cannot conjure up. It expresses a feeling that does not get defined in any other way. It also gets a reaction, like they were giving, that people like to get. One intelligent response was "I thought it was considered poetic now". I was so impressed. I had to add my 2 cents to it and show my shock that they were offended that the "f" word was used and not at the drug reference in the same sentence. One response was that they thought "flying high" was they were so in love with the beauty. REALLY? HOW FUCKING LAME ARE YOU TO NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND A DRUG REFERENCE! Oh, mind you, that response was from a single 35 year old Mormon girl. I guess consider the source. Needless to say, while having coffee last night with friends I decided to share this posting with them which not only started a nice laughter, but a conversation on how lame people really are over the most unimportant things. This made me glad not only that I was gay and did not try to fit into this Mormon mold, but that I am open minded enough to accept people who don't fit into any certain molds. I may judge people to a certain point, but more because they are close minded than for being indiviuals.

Those are my stories and I am sticking to them!

When The Feeling Strikes

So today I saw something I don't see often. My friend and I were grabbing a small bite to eat at Taco Cabana. As we were eating I saw some young punks show up on the patio. I did not think much of it. One was short, scruffy, pierced mouth, and had a military backpack on. The other, tall, red mohawk, black denim jacket with some punk band's graphic sewn to the back of it. Nothing out of the ordinary for Austin. My friend and I kept talking as I watched these young guys. All of the sudden the short one bent over into a garbage can and started digging. After a moment he popped out with a full soft taco in hand as if he just struck gold. The both came inside to the salsa bar and filled up on salsa, limes and whatever else they could get. I felt bad for them. They went back out into the 103 degree patio and started to share the taco. It seemed as if they had not eaten for awhile by the way they slowly shared it, each taking one bite then setting it down for the other to take his. My heart felt warm and I reached into my pocket for my wallet. I had a dollar in there. There was nothing in the restaurant that even cost a dollar. I contemplated how much change I had in the car. I had a feeling these guys could really use some food. Thank god today was payday and I had some money in the account. I told Cat to wait a second and walked out to the patio.
"You guys want some tacos?" I asked.
"YEAH!" the short one belted, then humbly said, "thanks."
I asked them what kind they wanted. The tall one said, "Anything with meat in it," so I asked, "Beef or chicken?"
"Beef," they both replied.
As I was walking in the door, they shot out another thanks. I went to the counter and ordered them 4 beef tacos. I contemplated buying more, and I probably should have, but I had to take into account the lack of money I actually had. I took the receipt to them and told them to just go pick it up. The gave another thanks and then had smiles on their faces.
I tried not to watch them as they came in to pick up the food or as they grabbed some water and more salsas. I tried not to watch as their beaten down moods had changed to smiling conversation. They still sat on the patio with a stray dog under foot but this time seeming to enjoy it. Cat was trying to make a bigger deal out of it than it was. I had to tell her it is nothing I do often, but I just had a feeling they really needed it. A quick change of conversation lead to me talking about children's films while I continued to elusively watch young guys.
We left about the same time as they did. Them with smiles on their faces and something in their stomachs and me feeling that I could at least give them a little something, but my gut feeling still knowing I did the right thing.
Any of you who know me know I always follow my gut feeling and really don't have much sympathy for beggars or homeless, but when the feeling strikes....

Bohemia Bohemia

Give a boy some freedom and watch him take off...and take off I did. A mere 6 months ago I was clean shaven, suit wearing, wing-tipped shoe toting Stephen Graham...Pit Boss. Take me to a temp job and I was about the same, just with better shoes and more colorful shirts. Put me to work at Whole Foods and I fall into my deepest desire for attire, shorts and t-shirts. Teach me a few things and I lose 30 pounds. Give me the freedom and I grow a beard. Catch me feeling frisky on a day I cut my hair and you now find me with a mohawk! Yes people, the old Steve is back and crackin'! My artistic juices are flowing, my individuality is surfacing again, and I am getting back to my old self!
I feel as if the shackles of conformity were taken off. I am so pleased to be at a job where you can be who you are anyway you want to be. I am pleased to be in a town where people are so open about life and freedom of expression and NOTHING seems to shock them it is great! I am actually quite fond of my new hair style and even temped to trim the sides much shorter, but we will see. You never know what kind of hair will ride up my ass! (singing "Freedom" by George Michael). Gotta love life a bit. Give me a good coffee and a relaxed coffee shop, some good conversation or a good book and life is grand! I am even forgetting how poor we are! I think this is one of the best and liberating decisions of my life!